The Girl With The Apron

First, I apologize for taking so long to update. I've been busy! So what's about to follow are just some random ramblings that are going through my head right now.

There's a girl here in the youngest class at school. She's about 16 years old, but looks about 13. She is absolutely adorable. Her birthday was a few days ago and the only thing she wanted was a kitchen apron. I have no idea why, but that's what she wanted. This past weekend, there was a small get-together at her dorm, and as it is custom to do on special occasions in Korea, the girl got up and sang a song for everyone. Last night, I was shown a video of this. It was just the girl, with her new apron on, singing a song about Jesus. Her voice wasn't beautiful. Nothing special. But she stood there in her apron, hands in the pockets, singing with all she had about Jesus. I didn't understand much of the song, but it didn't matter. I could see the words written all over her face. I haven't been able to get seeing that video out of my head. Today, someone played the video again, and it hit me, this little girl with the apron, singing to the Lord is such a clear and simple vision of the Kingdom of Heaven. Just a girl, in all her innocence, in complete purity, singing a simple song of praise. It was one of the most worshipful, beautiful things I've seen.

Last night, I realized that I make my relationship with God too complicated. I place too much theology, stipulation, and rules on it. I clutter things with complexities that only condemn me in the end. I don't believe that's what our relationship with God is supposed to be. Sure, a relationship with the Almighty is hard sometimes. But the thing is, the Lord calls us to intimacy with him, the intimacy that is birthed from simply spending time with him. Simply being with him. Out of that intimacy is what all other spiritual acts grow out of. God doesn't intend for us to construct a theology, a system, a list of rules to govern our relationship with him. He just wants us to come to him. He'll make the path straight for us.

^"He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." -Matthew 18: 2-4

God calls us to take the "lowly position" of a child. A child is innocent, simple, obedient, worry-less. That's how we are supposed to be. Systems, theology, education and such is nice, but at the end of the day, you've just got to put your apron on and sing a simple song to the Lord.

Hello all!

First of all, I'm really sorry about waiting so long to blog. Life here has been completely crazy! I've been busier than I ever thought I was going to be, which I really love.
This past week was the first week of the school year for the students, which has meant my first week teaching. I don't know if I've talked about this already, but apparently I'm a legit teacher now. The past two summers I "taught" English, meaning I helped some students with their English homework and maybe went into a classroom once or twice a week and played a game with them. When I got here, I wasn't sure if that's the way it was going to be this time around. At first I thought it was, until I was told that I needed to come up with teaching proposals, curriculum, lesson plans, textbooks, assignments, and grades. That came as a bit of a surprise, but one that I have thoroughly enjoyed and am so happy to have. It has been slightly overwhelming at times because most people go to school for 4 years to learn to do the things that I'm just having to wing. By the grace of God, I'm getting by so far!
I'm also doing some private lessons for teachers and students, as well as teaching a group of university students everyday for 2 hours and a few other things. My typical week will consist of teaching 9 classes, 2-4 private lessons, teaching a group of middle school kids on Saturday mornings at a church, helping plan for the team that's coming from the States this summer (the one I was on the past two years), and helping plan for a big camp that always happens at the end of summer that promotes unification between North and South Koreans. Think a camp that's comparable to Centrifuge or M-Fuge in the states...it's a pretty big deal. There's a lot to do, a lot of work, a lot of busyness, not much sleep, and I love it. I completely love the students I get to teach and hang out with. I love the staff I get to work with. I love the job I get to do. All of it. A few days ago, I was talking with some students about what their dream jobs are. Everyone went around and said what they wanted to do, and then they asked me. I thought for a few minutes and realized that I'm doing my dream job right now. It's so strange because as a kid, teenager, and college student, I was always looking to the next thing, thinking that there was this big goal to work towards, a job, a career, something like that. Now, I feel like it's finally here. I feel like instead of having to continuously work through different steps to get to yet another step in an effort to get to the end goal, I'm at that goal now, finally. That's not to say that I don't have things I want to achieve and accomplish later, but I have this indescribable sense of contentment and peace that I've never really had before. I know God has me right where I'm supposed to be. Please don't think that I think any of this is of me though. I feel insanely humbled that God has me where I am and feeling the way I am. It is all because of the Lord that any of this is happening and I am so unworthy of it all.
Through all of this, God has been teaching me a lot about losing myself to Him. God is showing me more and more that things aren't about me. I'm learning that first, everything is completely and totally about him. It doesn't matter if circumstances or situations inconvenience me or if I don't like everything that happens. It matters if God wants something to happen. It matters if it helps Him, not me. It matters if it furthers His Kingdom, not mine. From all of this, I've also learned that serving God means serving people. The way to love God and to worship Him is to give up yourself and to serve the way God wants us to. God is very specific about the way He wants us to serve Him. Not to be cliche, but The Great Commission sums it all up. We are to go and make disciples. We are to make the name of Jesus known. We are to draw people to Jesus. That is the only job we as Christians are given. God has entrusted this one thing to us. It's not an option to do it. We are commanded by God, and His commands are not to be ignored. A verse that I keep coming back to is Romans 12:1: " Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship." The sacrifice God asks us to give is our entire being, and the service that it requires is to love, serve, and obey God by serving His creation. This has made me realize that my life not only belongs to God, but by extension, it belongs to these students. They are the people I am called to and they are the people I must serve.
Last week at church the pastor talked about this kind of stuff and talked about how every single Christian is called to be a pastor. That doesn't mean we all need to go to seminary and stand in a pulpit every Sunday. No, that means that God has given each and every one of us a flock to tend to. We are given a group of people to minster to, to serve, to love, to share the Gospel with, to disciple, no matter what we do. Whether you're a teacher, a doctor, a plumber, a salesman, a waitress, you have a flock to pastor. God has sent you to the places you work to look after the people you see everyday. That is your pulpit. And just like a traditional pastor would not neglect and ignore his congregation, so it is that we are not to neglect or ignore the congregation God has given us. Please do not think that you need to be "called in the ministry" to work for the Lord. God has called you to have influence in whatever job you're in. In Genesis, God gave Adam and Eve dominion over the world. That call to dominion has not been revoked. It still stands. Now this does not mean, in my opinion, anything about politics or government or boycotting things we don't like or don't agree with, or signing petitions to do things like reinstating prayer in schools. Those aren't wrong, but I believe dominion means having influence in every arena the world has. Having Godly "pastors" who are working in everyday jobs, influencing people day to day, sharing the Gospel everywhere that you are. In the end, I really believe that has much, much, much more impact than starting with the things I just mentioned. Those kinds of dominance will come later when we are obedient to what God has for us, wherever we are.
Anyway, my original point in all of this is that I'm learning that I am not my own. I am God's first, then second, I belong to the students that He has called me to. I am still figuring out what that means and I expect it to be a long road!
As for prayer requests, please continue praying for my students. Pray that God will open them up to Him and that they will experience Him and want to know Him. Please pray that I will not let busyness get in the way of ministering to the students. I am a little scared that this will happen. I don't want to let doing work get in the way of them.
Thank you all so much for your love, support, and prayers.
I love you all!

P.S. I will be posting some pictures on here soon. If you have Facebook, I already have a lot on there, so check 'em out!

Hi all!

Im starting to wrap up my third week here in beautiful (and cold) Seoul, Korea. I must admit, I've put off writing this blog because so much has been going through my head the past week and it's been hard to know where to start.

I left off last time telling about the camp that I went to with my students. This past week we did the second half of it. To be honest, that week was one filled with intense emotions for me, ranging from intense anger to overwhelming love and joy. It was certainly a challenging experience, and one that I have not been able to get out of my head.

I'll let you in on a little of why I felt all this.

For starters, as I think I mentioned in my last post,there was a group that came in from the States that led the camp. I was a bit apprehensive about them my first week because of some of the things they were doing and saying. Nonetheless, I really tried to get over my differences. That was well and good until this past week started. To be honest,there were things said and done that I genuinely felt to be manipulative and damaging. Certain things within the program forced students to drag up a lot of dirty laundry from their pasts, things that no one there was qualified to deal with and you could tell the toll it took on the students. I'm naturally a protective person in general, but these students have had my heart for almost 3 years now and I love and care for them like they are my own family. Obviously I'm not a mother yet, but I think the way I feel about them is as close as I can get to feeling the way a mother does about her child. I want the best for them, would do anything for them, and want to protect them with every fiber of my being. Anyway, I felt that this program did not do the best for them and brought up a lot of unnecessary pain and hurt for them without having anyone properly trained there to deal with those kinds of things. I don't doubt that the group did have the best of intentions; I just don't think their plans were well thought out as to what kind of effect they may have and the situations these students have been in.

Since being back from her camp and having time to reflect, I think it has given me a better perspective on several things. For one, I think seeing how the group handled things gives me a good picture of how I should and shouldn't go about the ministry God has given me here. I never, ever, want to exploit my students, I never want to make them feel like they need to have certain emotional responses to things, I never want them to feel like I'm the "all-knowing American" here to solve their problems. I never want them to think that I don't want a relationship with them and that I don't care about them deeply. I do want to show them an accurate picture of God. I want them to know the realities of having a relationship with Jesus, even though some of those realities can be hard, such as sacrifice, purging yourself of sin, dying to yourself and living for Christ, etc.

Another lesson I think God was trying to teach me through all of this was that in life and in ministry,I am going to come across Christians that I disagree with. I will (and have) come across Christians that, to be honest, are really hard to get along with. I wouldn't doubt that I have been one of those Christians to other people as well. It's a reality and I think God is showing me the appropriate way to respond to those people. Honestly, I don't have a good, solid answer yet as to the best way to be in these situations. I do know that every single morning I was at camp that I had to write out prayers asking for God to give me patience with the people around me, to help me have a Godly attitude towards them, and also asking God to use them for His work and glory. It definitely helped. I still have a lot to learn about these things, no doubt.

Another major thing that struck me so hard while I was there and while I have been back is the crippling hurt and pain that almost every single student has endured. Ive heard a lot of stories from them before that are sad and have left me hurting for them ,but at camp, there were translators everywhere so that many were able to tell their full stories and have them understood. I heard so many stories of hurt, pain, loss, heartache, loneliness, burdens, and devastation. I honestly don't know how many of these students have kept going. I have no doubt that it is nothing short of the Lord holding the fibers of their beings together because otherwise, I think they would just fall apart because of the misery they've had to endure. It's particularly amazing when a student that is a Believer shares about their hardships but then praises God anyway. How profound is that? People that have experienced nearly every hardship imaginable, yet they praise His name anyway? How many of us have had nearly perfect lives, minimal hardships, maximum blessings, and don't do that? I know I am incredibly guilty of that. I really see these students as a true picture of The Beatitudes. " Blessed are the poor in spirit for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." The list goes on and on.

Despite any negative feelings I had throughout the week, last Friday was a pure joy. The class that I've had the privilege of teaching the past two summers graduated from high school. To help you see the gravity of this, you should first undertand a little of what they went through to accomplish this. They first had to escape their home country in the North, where most had a subpar education. Then they had to flee from there and cross through at least 2 different countries to get to a safe haven in which they would be sent to the South. This process took anywhere from 1-7 or 8 years at least. Most of that time they had to hide out in order not to be caught by authorities and repatriated to their home country where they would be imprisoned at best. After they found their new home in the South, they were faced with either going to school or working. As in America, one can only hope for a certain caliber of job without a high school degree, so school is the option for many. When in school, a lot of students are at an elementary school learning level. They have to catch up and work insanely hard to get to where they need to be. All the while, a good percentage of these students have no family in the South with them the encourage them and spur them on. They are doing these things alone. Also, studying in Korea and studying in America aretwo very different things. Doing well in school requires class from 9am to 5pm. Then, private studying and tutoring from 5:30pm until 11:00pm. Once they are home at 11, many study for an additional 3-4 hours and many sleep only 3-4 hours in order to get up early and study before school. It's intense to say the least.

As you can imagine, it was a big, big day for the graduating students. I was so unimaginably proud of them. It was such a big deal with all that they overcame to finally get there.

As for prayer requests, by biggest one is for the students. Please pray that God will move in them and heal them and help them see the absolute necessity for Him. Please pray especially for the guy students. Typically they are really hard and unresponsive, but it's very obvious God is starting to move in several of them . Pray that He will continue to change their hearts towards Him. Pray for them and me as well all start a new school term in a few days. Please pray that God will give me the wisdom and discernment to know how to best serve these students and tell and show them Gods love for them. Pray that I will not lose focus of the goal here.

Thank you all so much for your continuing love, prayers, and support. I miss you guys!

Love in Him,

Lyndsey

Hello!

Well this is my first post from Seoul! As most of you know, I'm here teaching English to refugees for 6 months, and more importantly, making relationships and sharing about Jesus. I've been here the past 2 summers and have fallen in love with the students I work with and have a heart to see them turn to the Lord.

I've officially completed my first week here. It has been quite a whirlwind. I had a day and a half to get settled in and adjusted to the time difference before I was thrown into a two week camp. We just wrapped up the first week yesterday and will start the second part Monday morning. Thankfully another team from the States is taking care of everything in the camp so I don't actually have any particular responsibilities so I can spend time with the students, catching up with the ones I've known from the past couple of summers, getting to know the new ones, and ministering in whatever way I can.

Something I learned in detail the last two summers is that one of the most important things I can do while I'm here is pray. I know that a lot of people view prayer as kind of a back burner thing to do when you've done other things first, I know I have before, but God has shown me just how vital and necessary prayer is. I've been reminded of that once again with these students. Sometimes the language barrier is too great to have a real conversation, but prayer covers all that. I have learned that a huge part of why I am here is to fight for the students in the spiritual realm of prayer. Most off these students have been through nearly unspeakable things in their lives, things you and I could not even imagine facing, and are so burdened with those things. Most have spent the majority of their lives never knowing the existence of God, much less a saving relationship with him. Because of these things, I feel like they need advocates to fight for them against the darkness that keeps them from Jesus. I feel like God has given me the task of being one of those advocates. This is not to say that I wont also be telling them about Jesus as much as I can. I am a big believer in not only praying and letting my life be an example that God can use, but also speaking the truth of the Gospel to people. I feel like the Bible explicity tells all Christians it is not good enough to just act like a good Christian. You have to speak up as well.

On another note, I want to share a few prayer requests. First, there is a young woman named Sunny here that was one of my roommates my first summer. She shared with me and a group of people about some really intense family issues she's been having. To make a long story short, she is in SK by herself and tried to have her brother from the North brought to safety in the South with her. He got caught along the way by policemen and she found out that he was killed. Now her parents, still in the North, blame her for his death. As you can imagine this has taken a horrible toll on her and has driven her to some destructive decisions. When she told us this, it was the first time she had ever shared this. Please pray for her and for healing. She is a Christian, but has had a hard time connecting with God because of these awful things and has fallen away from him.

Please pray for all the students as they go through another week of camp that God will reveal himself to them all, especially the ones that dont know him yet. Pray that those students will come to know him as their savior this week.

Please pray for me as I minister to the students. I have to admit, I was really thrown for a loop when I heard Sunny's story. I have heard a lot of stories from the students that were really hard to deal with, but I don't think I was quite prepared to start hearing them this early on. Also pray that I can do what I need to do to effectively minister to these students.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, love and support. I couldn't do this without you all.

Also, I know some of you have asked for my address. I do have one, but I don't want to post it online for security reasons. If you'd like it, I can email it to you or you can get it from my parents. My email address is herringlj@gmail.com

Again, thanks for everything!

Lyndsey